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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?